Frequently Asked Questions

Q: When will you be taking orders again?
A: Soon!

Q: Can I have a lesbian call a friend or my parents?
A: Yes!

Q: When will the lesbian call?
A: Unless you specify otherwise, a lesbian will first attempt to call within 3 business days sometime between 8am and 9pm EST. (Late-night and weekend calls available for $5 more.)

Q: Is this for real?
A: Yes! Our lesbians are "the best" and they deliver!

Q: Why can it take up to 3 business days to call me?
A: We only have so many lesbians. Our lesbians are popular and often very busy. Some calls are almost immediate.

Q: How can I meet your lesbians?
A: Ordering a call is a good start.

Q: Will your lesbians mention my name if I order a call for my grandmother?
A: No. We will maintain your anonymity unless you or a subpoena suggests otherwise. For more about our staunch privacy policies, visit our privacy page.

Q: How do I know my dad received his lesbian call?
A: We always send you a confirmation email with a summary of the call.

Q: How much does a lesbian call cost?
A: Only ten bucks.

Q: How long does the call last.
A: Calls last about two minutes. Sometimes longer or shorter.

Q: Can I order a custom fantasy lesbian call?
A: Maybe. Custom orders are $20 or more. Send us an email and we'll price your dreams.

Q: What do your lesbians talk about?
A: That depends... our militant lesbians are often a tad brutal and don't put up with shit. The coveted on-the-fence lesbians are a bit wishy-washy and the Catholic lesbian is even more conflicted (we only have one) The transgender lesbians like to talk about football in a husky voice. Stoner lesbians say, "Dude" and "Man" a lot. Whereas our popular good ol' fashioned 'regular' lesbians talk the crooked walk. Guess what the lesbian film critic wants to talk about.

Q: What if I'm not around when you call?
A: Our lesbians are persistent! They'll keep trying for at least a week. After no less than four call attempts, they'll leave a Lesbian-message on voicemail or an answering machine. So if you order a Lesbian Phone Call for a friend, you might want to find a subtle way to let them know that they should pick up when that mysterious "blocked call" that appears on their caller ID.

Q: If the recipient gets a lesbian voicemail, is that it?
A: Yes, but that's good! They can save their lesbian message forever. Play it again and again for friends and family.

Q: What about refunds?
A: If after due diligence, our lesbians can't get through to either share a Lesbian Phone Call or a voicemail, we'll issue a full refund. If the lesbian phone call recipient hangs up on our lesbian, we will not issue a refund.

Q: What will appear on my credit card statement?
A: Something along the lines of "LPCMANTRA"

Q: I have no luck with lesbians, is it true you have premium lesbos?
A: Yes!

Q: Can you refer me to a standards organization for lesbo-ratings?
A: A what?

Q: Why don't you have ______ lesbians?
A: If you've a hankering for a specific type of lesbian, just us. We'll query our lesbian databases to find a match. No promises, but we'll do our best.

Q: How can I ask a question you haven't answered in the FAQ?
A: Just us!

Q: Is LesbianPhoneCall.com a "phone sex" service?
A: No. Most of our lesbians already have girlfriends, who'd get jealous - and we don't want that.

Q: What is "the crooked walk?"
A: Order a call today and find out for yourself!

Q: Why is "douchebag" one of your navigation links?
A: We're not accepting orders right now, but we're accepting douchebags. It makes sense, really.